MMMm Almuerzos
Wednesday, 27 July 2005
Me and Dan have both just developed a new talent! We can both produce undigested food from our arses!
As not to waste this talent we are planning on opening an Ecuadorian Almuerzo restaurant, I will provide the seco and Dan will be making the sopa. Fantastico!!!
Apart from this amazing new talent I have also discovered that speaking excellent Spanglish does not help when dealing with Ecuadorian beurocracy. In fact understanding what they say actually makes them much more frustrating. I had a mildly hysterical spanglish conversation with a bloke in the post office the other day, flipping through my diccionario and asking things like "hay uno camino mas barrato?" Is there a cheaper road? and "pero no es pesado, y le otra hombre dice $17" But its not heavy and the other man say $17.
Apparently it costs $24 to send a very, very light thing to England from here. So the upshot of this is Michael, the sombrero muy fino that I got you for your birthday will be hand delivered probablemente. Its a wicked regalo though.
I am also developing a paranoia about my Spanglish teacher. Yesterday he asked me what I do if there is a rat in the house and I told him that I always bite rats with poison. He didnīt bat an eyelid - is he asleep with his eyes open? Or does he think that is what all English girls do? Hmmm.... I hope I donīt learn Spanish only to find that everyone here talks total bollocks all the time...
On July 28, 2005, Rachel said:
I've got a quick celebrity bogwatch for you. I was at a drinks reception at number 10 the other night...as in THE NUMBER 10...and what has Cherie considerately put on the back of the toilet door for you to read while you're defacating in the PM's toilet? A sign saying:
Have you remembered to flush? Will you remember to was your hands?
...talk about nanny state!
Love to you both. x x x.
On July 28, 2005, el Daz, Burro Master said:
There's a similar sign in the toilets at Buckingham Palace.
It put me right off my wanking.
On July 28, 2005, The Misplaced Plebeian said:
I found myself at an orgy at the Whitehouse the other day (that's THE WHITEhouse), you know, as you do, and guess how much George Bush charges to pimp out his mother? Just $10! Talk about a granny rate!
I also saw Britney Spears yesterday. And George Clooney offered to do some dusting for me, but I said no, because he's just sooo last-year and not important enough to warrant my time.
Anyway, gotta go. Jesus is coming over for scones.
On July 28, 2005, Ben Marvell said:
Ok, so without even reading the rest of your post i feel sick!
I was just tucking into a tasty blackberry tart from M&S when you come out with the tart spitting line of "We can both produce undigested food from our arses!"
Grim, Grim
On July 28, 2005, Dan said:
The opinions expressed in this post are that of my wife and do not reflect the opinions of Bowelwatch incorporated as an organisation.
On July 28, 2005, Catherine said:
Sorry, but with a name like bowel watch what did you expect? Its gonna have to be pretty visceral especially in South America: Land of the Emergency Toilet Paper.
On July 28, 2005, Catherine said:
Hey Rachel did they have pot puray in there too? Is there a knitted toilet roll cover with a waist up barbie coming out of it? Numero diez man, I canīt believe they let you in, were you wearing your useful leather dress?
On July 29, 2005, Adele said:
hey you two! sorry i haven't posted before. Thanks for telling us about your new talent!... Very...er...impressive... :-S
love adele xxxxxxxx
On July 29, 2005, Rachel said:
Ah Catherine. Nothing so plush I'm afraid. It even had one of those rubbish dispensers of a towel-on a-loop that are always slightly damp and you can never pull enough out so you end up drying your hands on someone else is mank. The towel was even frayed. It kind of reminded me of the toilets in a country pub hotelarama that are a little passed their best from too many drunken youths and middle aged ladies being sick in them. Who knows, maybe that's what Cherie and Ewan get up to? And tehre wasn't even a plastic jewelled tissue holder in sight. Jolly poor show really.
On July 30, 2005, cheeky mickey t said:
you got me a sombrero thats almost as good as the wooden hells angel you got me for christmas a few years ago!!! i'm touched your the best.keep shitting undigested food but if i had that problem i'd probably avoid the pineapples if i were you! take care guys
mick
On July 31, 2005, Catherine said:
Sombero is just the Spanish word for hat, actually it is a very classy Columbian drug baron style hat which any brother should be proud to wear.
On August 02, 2005, The man from Del Monte said:
The Man from Del Monte says Yes
On August 06, 2005, Horse said:
I am so proud...