Incas are effortologies version of Satan
Saturday, 20 August 2005
For those of you who donīt know Iīve long time been founder of Effortology, a religion based on the conservation of effort by using the least amount of effort possible for the objective to be achieved.
Some have misunderstood this to be laziness. INFIDELS! We are now a multinational organisation donīt you know. Big up the Seb massive! Anyway, over the last few days Iīve been offended by the Incaīs lack of effortology. They must be the biggest threat to our cause ever.
You see back in the day, as the locals say, there was bloke called Mancu Kapak who was the first Inca. He had a sister/wife (this is official terminology - donīt ask) and got plonked on the earth near Lake Titticaca. He was charged with the mission of finding the main city of the incas. He found Cuzco and decided in all his wisdom that it was a good place to put the main city. Now, this, first off, was not in any way an effortologically sound decision. Itīs about 3500m up a mountain. Any good effortologiest knows that getting out of breath is a bad idea. This place has no air!
Then, well, thereīs Manchu Picchu, this place is at the top of a huge mountain which is in turn on top of a huge fuck off mountain which is then on a mountain! Then thereīs this other place near it called Waynapichu which is on a mountain on top of Manchu Picchu! It takes 4 days to walk there.... I ask you, what is wrong with living on the coast like everyone else? You can have a nice boat and have a sail around and chill.
Also, as itīs built on a mountain why did they bring all their own rocks up the bloody mountain. Thereīs already rocks there! It beggers belief. The people in Manchu Picchu liked to eat fish as well. They used to get some poor bastard to grab a fish from the coast and leg up and down mountains for 4 or 5 days with it. There is no way youīd get me to run anywhere with any kind of slimey animal.
The foolishness didnīt end until the spanish turned up. Luckily, the Spanards, inventors of the Siesta, and proud effortologists, shifted the capital to Lima, which is a much less pretty location but itīs near the sea and there is some air. Thank god for that.
These crimes against effortology continue today though. Some people make their living by getting up at 5 in the morning and jigging around like nutters just so people will take pictures of them and pay them. Why donīt they just knit me a nice warm hat that doesnīt have llamas on it and make me look like a twat. I would buy that. They could have a nice rest. Im not even around at that time in the morning, they could have a lie in. I will show them the effortology way, my friends.
Thereīs some new photos up of Cuzco and Arequipa. You can see those effortological crimes first hand!
So, Iīve reached my limit, there is simply to much wasted effort in the world and I canīt stand to see it any longer. We are coming home on the 25th of August! See you soon!
